avoid making mistakes

Start Your CV with ‘I Am Stupid’

Yes, you read it right, start your CV with ‘I am stupid’. In fact, you might have done it and your CV already starts that way. Up to 2009, my CV started with ‘I am stupid’. Any surprise the whole of that year I did not get a job or an internship? Not at all. But I didn’t care. The rest of my CV was even better – to a recruiter it must have read like ‘Don’t hire me’ or ‘I am a complicated person’.

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Image Credit: sciencewritingblog.wordpress.com

HOW TO START A CV?

Almost all of us start our CVs with our name and contact details, probably email address under that. How to make sure your CV screams out ‘I am stupid’? Just be sure to write your casual email address. For example –

  • pink_princess@xyz.com                          
  • master_class1987@xyz.com                  
  • name.lastname@wwe.com!                    
  • andyhacker@xyz.com                              
  • crazy_name@xyz.com      

To a recruiter, any of the above examples, or similar read as ‘I Am Stupid’

So, there you go. You’ve started your CV by stating ‘I am stupid’. I had one of those email addresses on my CV as a contact ID (similar to the second example!). Didn’t get anywhere with it. But hey, the point of this post is to make sure we say we are stupid on our CVs.

Obviously, you can avoid putting up such an email on your CV. So you start off on a good note and in a professional manner. Might be less fun, but in the end will pay more! Put up a formal email address, or your university email ID and you’ve started your CV on the right foot.

CONTENT OF A CV?

Content is king. Whether it be running a blog, or writing a CV. You need to grasp readers’ and recruiters’ attention! Now, how to make sure the content screams out ‘Don’t Hire Me’. It’s very simple, you might have done it, but I will still share how I made sure I wasn’t hired and you can do the same on your CV to help recruiters not hire you.

Write unclear sentences and mess up priorities on the CV. Why not start off by writing what your interests are, like music, knitting, eating at Nando’s etc.? OK, this is a bit of an extreme example, but what I mean is, make sure your content is inconsistent, to make sure you are not hired. For example –

  • Having dates in no-order or wrong order
  • Incomplete information on jobs
  • Grammatical mistakes
  • As a graduate, 1-page CV & 3-page CV

All of the above points read as ‘Don’t Hire Me’ to recruiters

As you can see, all the above are the best ways to make sure you are not hired. You could reduce the fun and do the opposite, make sure you put the latest academic and work qualifications before the older dates. It gives a good flow and helps recruiters visualise a timeline.

Have complete information and keywords on your CV that are attractive to the recruiter. Avoid any grammatical mistakes and keep the content to 2 pages. This is my top advice to optimise your CV. Do this and any recruiter would be interested to know more. Remember, a CV is like a website, the easier to navigate around, and connect with, the better experience to stay on site for the user. It’s the same for a CV. Better layout and information means the recruiter finds going through it quickly less stressful. Don’t do all this, and your CV will scream ‘Don’t Hire Me’, because you are un-organised, complicated to deal with, and maybe slightly unprofessional.

HOW TO WRITE A SUCCESSFUL CV?

A successful CV is one that is well designed and has good content. Follow the two points above and you will have something concrete to sell yourself.

Of course, you can even download a free CV template from here. And fill in the information. We also have a post on key skills and keywords to have on your CV, which might help you further.

If you want to comment or criticise anything in the post, feel free to comment in the box below. Please note, WE DON’T encourage you to make your CV scream out loud: ‘I Am Stupid’ or ‘Don’t Hire Me’.
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